3 sms for her which i dun dare to send.. Tuesday, September 19, 2006
this few days we are getting along with each other quite well.. chat joke with each other.. send her home when is getting late.. it seems smooth on the surface.. but it seems like a storm is blowing.. i got 3 sms i wanted to send.. but i din cos i noe if i did, the STORM will blew...
sms1
eh.. i noe there are still distance between us.. somethings i only can hope for.. u still kept reservations towards me.. u wun take my call for no reasons.. u wun return my missed calls.. u wun reply to some of my msg.. am i right? although u said there will be a time for us to go out, arrange at other time.. but deep in my heart, i noe u are jus saying.. i noe tt day will nv come.. everything u got ur own things on.. there is totally no time for me.. all these things i dun wish to say out.. only can bear it.. however, i only can hope there is a really a day when u got time for me.. i can only hope for a day where u will reply to my msg and take my calls even is jus casual chat.. when is tis day goin to arrive? tears filled my eyelids.. swallow silava down my dry throat =(
sms2
have u ever ask urself y we meet? i asked myself.. i meet u cos i wan to.. i wan to see ur face.. i wan to see ur smile.. how abt u? our meeting is always due to friends or co or sch.. is there a day when our hearts say tml meet each other cos i wan to go out with each other to enjoy each other's compancy? is there goin to be a day when our purposeis to meet each other only in to a happy mood, stressless? maybe tt day wun come.. perhaps the mms i have spend lots of time to make alr been deleted.. i tot my place in ur heart alr go back like last time.. but now, i realise, i am no impt to u.. i have no place in ur heart.. maybe u really feel nth to me.. even e least amt of love for mi aso dun have.. perhaps everything done had nv moved you at all.. heartbroken.. depressed.. =(
sms3
saw mel's personal msg in msn.. yin wei zhai hu, suo yi pa shi qu.. if is tt so, i really wish to noe whether u zhai hu wo mah? whether u pa shi qu wo mah? i really wish to noe the ans.. a quoting from the tv.. u can find ppl who u love dem more than mi, but u will nv find another person who love u more than i do.. i love u.. be the ger of my life.. the one and only in my life.. hao mah?
Thursday, September 14, 2006
raymond fall sick today.. fever.. i got nth to say.. speechless... he told mi, are u thinking tt wad if the one who is sick is me? i say no.. i jus in a daze.. but guess he is partially right..
i am tink tt the concern and care she gave to raymond when he sick would nv apply to me when i fall sick.. joyce bought some kind of herbal tea for him.. quite sweet isn't it? but wad's joyce doing wun happen on mi when the one who bought the tea for mi is her.. wun happen de.. maybe i die le she aso wun drop 1 drop of tear for mi.. AHHHH!!! i really cant take all this anymore.. xin li hen tong.. hao lei.. really wish i could jus vanish from this world.. =(
100th post le.. almost every single post is abt her.. all my happy times with her as well as the sadness she bring into my life.. today.. receive a e mail from 1 friend..
It goes:
dun ever break a girl's heart . =)
Guys. realize that the
girl holding onto
u..
is PERFECT in their own special way.
The way she laughs..
The way she sleeps..
The way she loves you..
The way she tries to please you...
Always remember that.
She can always get up and walk away,
getting someone else who can love her
more.
For all you know,
there is someone out there wooing her
already,
but she is rejecting,
a maybe perfect love for her..
There might also be someone out there..
who is willing to love her more than you
are loving
her now,
fufill her every need and love her as
much as she
loves you.
Understand that.
Imagine this, guys.
When you are holding her today...
and then you cheat on her by hugging
and kissing another gal.
and then you run back to her...
and u do the same....
but you see love in her eyes...
What do you think?
Do you feel the hurt?
Can you feel the guilt?
She loves you not because you are
good looking,
have money,
buy her things,
make her parents happy,
or that you have a car.
She loves you for who you are.
Your every touch, every word you say,
everything
you do.
Guys.
Cherish and appreciate your girl.
Don't break her fragile heart.
She is the only one who can love you
that way.
You won't wanna regret letting go of that
special
girl you have.
For everything she has done for you, the
least
you
can do is to give her unconditional love
as she
has given to you.
it is very meaningful..
here is the question: me as the guy understand that, if she as the girl read this and put herself in the shoes of the guy, will she understand?
haiz...... why it have to turn out like this? =(
maybe i should not exist in her life at all.. Wednesday, September 13, 2006
she say she cant comfirm thurs de thingy.. till now she din contact mi at all.. maybe she dun take it to mind tt i asked her out.. she say will comfirm with mi if she can.. but still i have to ask her.. really disappointed.. tink we not fated to go out together ba.. today did contact each other, still.. is jus abt results.. is was jus sch work, co and work keep us goin.. without tt, we are jus strangers.. i really feel like falling down.. speechless..
tml no more le.. everytime blocked by co and official stuffs.. weekends she will always have her friends and stuffs.. when will she ever have time for mi? or she is jus patronizing me.. maybe i should make myself disappear in front of her forever...... ='(
Monday, September 11, 2006
recalling back our past.. seems so innocent and naive.. now we seems to be like avoiding each other.. past events.. studying for Os, watchin disney on ice, having yuki yaki, poly open houses, jae, transfer sch or even jus baking cookie together at ur house.. when i tot of all these.. makes mi happy.. but it seems tt happiness wun last long.. present.. my importance in ur heart seems to be fading.. i can even sense tt yb dey all are more important than mi.. the distance between us is widening.. drifting away from each other each day.. attitude towards each other is jus like patronizing each other.. why? why is it becoming lidat? din we both promise each other tt to work hard to go bad to the past?
what is happening? my love for u is it wrong? i jus wan to use my life to make u happy.. i jus wan to weigh more in ur heart.. i jus wan time tt i can spend with you.. i jus wan ur care and concern.. is all tt difficult to ask from u? is all these too much to ask from? =(
fallen angel~~~
can you jus forget the world for mi jus once? Thursday, September 07, 2006
i took the initiative to ask her out a few times.. but all rejected.. so wad's the point of mi asking u out.. like today.. ask her whether wan to watch little man together.. she reply mi she dun wan to go far today.. moreover little man ben dey say wan watch together.. i din reply her.. i was thinking.. cant u jus forget the world for mi once? jus for 1 occasion.. first time say sok wah bday second time din reply third time still cant.. if she din tell mi ben dey all wan watch together, i maybe wun get so unhappy.. i really wish to reply can u jus forget abt dem and go togther today.. why i always muz be the last resort? dun go far can go near de.. intro job to u, still worried abt xx.. din even say thank you den tink abt xx liao.. u wun nv worried mi lidat before.. u understand mah? when i told u i miss u, jus tell mi go sleep maybe will dream of her.. did you really care? i am really tired.. but it seems nth to u..
can you forget the whole world for jus 1 day, as if the world only left u and mi, and spend the day happily together? even jus 1 day, i'ill be content.......
if you happen to read my blog, maybe is the day when we alr stop contacting each other le......
Monday, September 04, 2006
today off day.. din nd to go work.. sian.. after tt went to meet yb dey all.. at kovan mac.. chat and study.. after tt i went home before goin to yufang house there play.. but den rained.. so nv play.. jus chatting..
went to meet rx den go together.. yufang came back from genting liao.. den bought some stuffs to eat while chatting.. she came aso.. i din noe wad to say to her.. so din talk to her.. chatting along.. after a while go home le.. sian.. anyway aso quite tired.. somemore tml is morning shift.. she talk to mi abt tml meeting got go a not.. not sure aso.. cos aso duno the next day is wad shift.. tml work until 2pm nia.. at first maybe wan to ask her out.. but think cant ba.. dey 7 got meeting.. i dun feel like goin.. zzz
whenever i see her, i feel delighted.. veri happy to see her.. but.. i din noe how to express myself.. i hate the moment when she's leaving.. i wish i could make her stay.. but when i ask myself how is she related to mi? i cant ans myself.. is she my friend? is she my love? or is she jus a friend who try to be like last time de us? i really duno the ans.. i wan to get the ans.. wad is the relation between us? i really missed her.. even now.. i feel like calling or sms her everyday.. but afraid tt she will find mi irritating.. feeling weird in my heart.. i wish to see her everyday.. i wish her to be my side.. if i could have 1 wish, my wish would be let her be by my side and i will make her the most happy girl in the galaxy.. angie.. jus who are u to me? i noe i wun get any ans if i ask u.. cos u aso duno.. but who can ans mi other than u? i feel the pain.. missed you........
Friday, September 01, 2006
31st sept
teacher's day!! went to collect cake with leon lee.. rainy day.. the performance sucks.. T.T after tt wait for the 3 teachers namely ong fu and lo to come down.. so long.. den we cut cake, eat cake, chat, take photos.. haha.. so fun and memorable.. saw many of them.. some changes while some still like last time.. haha.. after tt went compass to have dinner.. after tt go off le..
after tt went to yufang house downstairs meet yb dey all.. surprisingly angie, peggy and edwin was there.. hmm.. feels like last time.. dey play vampire but i din play.. angie was the catcher.. she lazy like pig.. den ask can catch mi a not.. =.= of cos not.. i was lazy aso lah.. no where better.. den i joined in went they play ice and water.. but den, too bad.. so slippery.. fell.. suay.. bruises.. i closed my eye when i fall.. 
i really hope tt she will be the one i saw when i first open my eyes, concerning and care abt mi.. but too bad.. it wasnt her.. jj rx and yb was there.. continued to chat at playground before we go home.. when i reach home, i was lying on bed, listening to music.. bu zhi bu jue, i tot of her.. everything abt her.. her face her char her laughter her everything.. i really wish she was mine.. i really wish to shout ILOVE U to her.. missing her.. cant sleep.. msged her.. she ask mi faster go sleep, maybe will meet her in dreamland.........
1st sept
din dream of her last night.. she told mi she read my diary, she alr saw the note among the cranes.. she say she din noe wad to do and wad to feel.. she jus know how much i have done for her.. i aso duno wad to reply.. after tt went for work.. ldr was friendly.. chat while work.. quite nice.. after work i msg her.. waited so long.. she reply.. ask how was it.. after tt i replied.. she reply other things.. weird.. aso veri long den reply.. her hp problem? duno.. dun care.. wo hao xiang ni.. wo ai ni..
