BBQ party for RX.. haha.. feeling happy.. hehe.. Sunday, April 30, 2006
haha.. ytd nite was rx de bbq.. but it started to rain.. so sian lo.. den went up his house meet up with ziyan junrong and winston.. den get to noe dem.. haha.. after tt got crab to eat.. damn shuang.. esp the claw part.. the meat wery wery nice.. den gary fengni sam came.. so long nv see dem aso.. but still veri gd friends.. lol.. overall we enjoyed.. lol.. den i was smsing sharon.. wad makes mi happy is the part where she din reply short short msg.. den when reach home aso chat in msn.. phyco-ing her to join co.. haha.. hope she wun avoid mi and join co.. den chat with mel aso.. she advise mi wait for sharon better.. i aso tink so.. hope mi and sharon will get together, which is opp of wad i dreamt.. lol.. btw, tml is 1st of may liao.. T.T my bus concession expire.. have to use adult fare.. wery exp lo.. hope faster get the poly ez link.. loveshe lots.. take care bloggie..
Friday, April 28, 2006
last seen on 23rd june 2004 520pm at bugis junction.. so long since i last met u.. miss you a lots.. although u left mi but i will wait for u de.. xi wang neng zai tp yu jian ni.. take care and stay happy always =)
start sch so long le haven even mention things happening.. actaully sch quite nice de.. at first tot the class will be like srjc de.. so boring wan.. but after having lesson, actually quite fun.. like my sec 4 de class.. lame class!! lol.. after 1 week of sch, jus realised my class actually got chio bu de.. lol.. erm.. for example. wendy? although she laugh 'a bit' too exaggerating, but on the whole she quite chio.. long straight hair, finger nails veri nice.. i only notice her lah.. haha.. i say she chio doesnt mean i like her wor.. haha.. actually tml nite got bbq den i nd to bring 1 chio bu go mah.. den ask her.. she say her father dun allow de.. i was like quite troubled liao.. duno who to ask liao.. heng dey cant find den i aso dun nd bring.. lol.. tink tt all ba.. hees..
dream=opp of life? should i? Tuesday, April 25, 2006
heard from many ppl tt dream is always opposite of wad's goin to happen in ur life.. is it true? anyone can tell mi? i sometimes will dream of mi and she breaking up de scene.. really wery pain.. makes mi feels wery sad.. when i tot of tt sentence, i asked myself.. if the sentence is true, i will goin to be with she izzit it? if is true of cos i am veri happy.. but how come the reality doesnt matches? mi and she have nth to say to each other and she avoids mi.. on the same issue, i sometimes will dream of her.. i dream i win her heart.. her become my beloved gf and a lot of happy moments.. but whenever i relate my dream with tis, i felt down.. how i wish i could continue with the dream and nv wake up.. if the sentence is true, i wun be able to be with her.. but the reality doesnt match either.. mi and her maintain a gd friendship in reallity and we veri close.. so does tis sentence true? so will i end up with she or her? i really duno..
maybe ppl who read tis tinks i am 2 timer.. but i am not.. i duno who i really loved.. she is my first love.. feelings for she nv fades.. on the other hand, her is my source of happiness.. i feel really happy with her and she is so simple which attracts mi.. which of tis kind of feelings is true love?
for both she and her now in same poly and her same course as mi.. i tried umpteen of times to ask she for patch.. she reject mi.. she got stead le and ask mi to give up she.. but i still continue trying.. as for her, i nv 'officially' try.. i jus ask her for stead as a joke and her dun wan.. i duno whether should tell her my feelings to her and ask for her hand mah.. i scare if i dun ask her fast, her will forget mi(cos her got her classmates who may replace mi as times goes by).. haiz.. i duno how she feels for mi and wad she tink of mi.. if her reject mi, i afraid her will avoid mi and i get replaced even faster.. i have prepare a msg for her.. but i always dun have the courage to send out.. cos i may have send the msg, but i dun have the strength to endure the consequences if is goin to be a bad wan.. haiz.. xin huan VS jiu ai.. haiz...
Friday, April 21, 2006
haiz.. friendship and relationship jus can work out for mi.. both she and her in tp.. she in anf, her in fdm.. athough in same course as her, friendship jus cannot work out.. i am jus a spare tyre.. at here, i would like to dedicate tis song to her.. zui shu xi de mo sheng ren..
as for she, i would like to dedicate tis song to she.. ah mei's new song.. ren zhi.. the chorus part esp.. zhai wo xin shang yong li de kai qiang.. she avoids mi.. the pain when u can even see ur beloved gal.. is equal to fire a gun in ur heart.. hen tong hen tong.. will anyone understand my feelings? dun tink so ba.. haiz.. so my ppl around mi.. does anyone really noes mi well enough? no ba.. not even my parents.. i m jus alone in my own world.. enduring the pain in darkness..
haiz.. fragile friendship.. 100% disappointment and anger
today.. veri disppointed and ANGER!! main lead is her.. actaully today quite fun wa.. but ended up totally upset.. her.. wad kind of friend is her? it was after the last program.. got optional de jane and hop( disco liked party).. her ask mi whether wan to go.. i say no cos headache.. feel like goin home.. met her outside class tt time, saw her with another guy.. tt guy was carrying her bag, playing and beating.. like flirting.. i see liao aso feel veri er xin.. only 3rd day lidat liao.. haiz.. den she ask mi go awhile.. i dun wan.. say i headache.. guess wad her reply mi? orh.. ok.. bye.. WTF.. not even a word of concern.. den walking half way through, her another friend join and her totally forget abt mi.. dey talk and treat mi as transparent wan.. k lo.. i go alone lo.. den met meifeng talk awhile, angie join in and went off without mi.. din even wait.. from tis moment i have 2 types of feeling.. ANGER AND DISAPPOINTMENT.. ANGER cos her pungseh mi.. during day 1 still ask mi dun pungseh her.. muz wait for her after sch, go home together.. in the end the 3rd day her pungseh.. say go with friend eat le den maybe go back a while.. den went off.. i din even have the time to say bye.. DISAPPOINTMENT is when her left.. i now den i realise the friendship between mi and her is so fragile.. i noe her for 1 year plus goin 2 years.. can say veri close.. but now den i realise we arent close at all.. jus a 3 day orientation, the friends her noe can weight more than mi.. i was feeling veri sad when i was in the bus goin home.. tink her totally forget abt mi le ba.. but for this 2 feelings, i cant stop her from doing tt.. i am nobody to her.. wad rights i have to control her? why her muz acc mi? i have nth.. i jus can bottled up this things in my heart and type it out in blog.. wad i tot in the morning really happen.. not only happen, it happen veri fast.. i tot we will drift apart as time goes by.. like year 2 starting lidat.. din imagine year 1 sem 1 alr lidat.. like wad i wrote in previous post, i cant confront her at all.. cos 2 ending.. first, her listens and gets better.. which is kinda impossible.. second wan is our friendship turn sour even faster.. which is highly possible.. wad rights i have to confront her? not as if i m her stead to tell her her neglect mi.. but i am nobody to her.. i jus feel i am being used.. starting of orientation, meet to go sch.. at there duno anyone den she keep lipping to mi say sian.. i aso sian.. but day 2 and day 3, is like i am disappearing.. not tt i wan to bad mouth her.. but after today's incident.. i tink her wun meet mi to go sch when her finds her classmate who is living near her.. before sch starts her say wans mi teach her eng maths.. but i tink dun nd le ba.. her classmate can do it.. i dun tink i am goin to have a place to stand alr.. drifting away from her.. monday same time goin sch.. if her cant find anyone, her will ask mi de.. really feels i am a spare tyre.. haiz.. anyone who noes my blog and have read tis, i urge u not to tell her.. but if u tell, the ending is the first wan, i will be grateful to u.. but the ending is second wan, i will KILL U!!! haiz... write until here, started to rain so heavily.. maybe lao tian aso ke lian mi ba.. hai.. hai.. hai..
friend or jus another freak? Thursday, April 20, 2006
hi bloggie.. woke up too early in the monring.. so long nv blog liao.. cos before sch orientation start, i was slacking almost everyday at home.. so nth to blog abt.. haha.. ytd veri tired cos the program was from morning 830 to 10pm.. reach home around 11pm plus.. damn tired.. chat with friend until abt 12 den go sleep.. haiz.. was chatting abt sch life.. in tp still okok ba.. but i got some 'feels A.K.A gan chu' to her.. i feel like confronting her and ask her abt it.. i was tinking like now she jus went into tp and the friends there not veri close yet, she will meet mi for sch or after sch.. i got a feeling tt after she and her class very close liao, she will meet dem instead of mi ba.. i wan to ask her whether it will happen.. but i did not.. cos i comfirm she will have reply either (u aso will close with ur class den pungseh mi wan.. dun say mi.. u aso..) or (u tink too far ahead liao..).. expected 2 kind of ans.. for the first kind, i am sure even mi and my class close, i aso wun give her cold shoulder.. as for the second kind, i really got nth to say abt it.. den now we in different class.. her timetable was similar for monday and thursday.. but she dun have classes on friday so her days end late.. perhaps the first term maybe still will meet or wad.. but for the rest of the 3 years, i m not confident.. in this case, forget abt meeting for sch or goin home.. as times goes by, she will be more close to her class than mi.. i feel like jus an item(ex. disposable contact lens) which she is using.. whenever she needs, she will come to u.. if not, who cares whether u are dead or alive.. after using, THROW lo.. easy.. she will nv noe how i feels de lah.. whoever read tis, do u agree with my thinking? k lah.. gtg to go sch liao.. take care bloggie..
being stabbed or stabbing ppl? Wednesday, April 05, 2006
haiz.. si bei sucks lah.. i ask him y he go say out.. he jus replied mi' out of curiousity.. sry' wtf.. den he offline liao.. wah kao eh.. tt time we was chatting on the phone saying abt poly de thing.. both of us asking each other the sch got who same poly as us.. den he ask mi got who go nyp in my sch.. so i say lo.. got chu jun, raymond, xx and daniel.. den through his sis alison, he noes co got these ppl.. but not really noe abt daniel.. den ask mi tell him more abt him.. i say lo.. starting with daniel de gd points.. ' say he quite friendly.. do things organise.. look quite gd aso.. funny guy..' den he ask abt bad points.. i aso duno wad to say.. but as wad a lot of ppl say( dun wanna point fingers).. he's gay and stories abt him.. so i tell lo.. ask him dun tell around.. den joke with him if he anyhow say he will in love with gay.. who noes.. he ytd nite use alison de msn aac tell daniel.. tell him the bad part nia.. WTF.. half story.. origninally duno y alr not veri gd relation with him.. den now offend him cos of this.. now i in hot soup.. sucks lah.. den ask him for explaination.. he say sorry lah.. jus out of curiousity.. create trouble for mi.. forget it lah.. nb..
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
today actaully quite a gd day for mi.. kinda shock when dey ask mi out.. when went out with last time choir de friend.. went to play pool.. during the journey kinda shock to noe zhi yang was from my choir.. jus joined last dec.. haha.. he should call mi senior eh? haha.. until 30 mins ago den reach home.. reach liao den start the bad side of the day.. really veri tu lan.. kana stab by primary sch friend.. fuck.. what the fuck is tis man?!?!? starting alr duno y he dun like mi den his birthday tt time still okok le.. den say out all tis for wad fuck.. on the phone u say wan noe more abt him de mah.. den i say out his gd and bad points.. den u go tell him for wad.. u say out u no trouble but u land mi in deep soup!! CCB!! toopid big mouth!! so wad should i do now? i dunoo.. for nth u create tis toopid trouble for mi to solve.. den now say bye bye.. no mood to blog liao lah.. knn..
Sunday, April 02, 2006
2/4
nth happen actaully.. jus went out with rx and yb to play pool.. but didnt get to play cos 3 person.. den nvm lo.. walking around.. i guess i have made up my mind le.. sharon.. i still cant forget her.. nobody can replace her.. not even angie.. i love she instead of her.. after sch reopen, her birthday around the corner.. 11 of june.. wanna give her a cd named winter story.. cos she is my snowgal in my heart, i hope mi and her can stay in our winter story.. hees.. too beautiful to imagine.. let fate decide ba.. hope god can see my effort.. i love she..
